It’s understandable why some women are so passionate about the topic of abortion. I’ve heard countless arguments from women on both sides of the issue. However, as a man, the truth is that I don’t have strong feelings about it one way or the other. There are many issues that might keep me awake at night, but abortion isn’t one of them. This doesn’t mean I agree or disagree with abortion—it’s just not a topic that resonates with me as it does with many women.

What I don’t understand is why some men make abortion—an issue so deeply tied to women’s experiences—their top concern. Of course, there are exceptions, such as when a man’s wife or daughter has been raped, or for religious reasons. But in most situations, abortion shouldn’t be something men focus on so intensely. Yet, there are men, whom I refer to as “feminine men” (they are not gay, necessarily, but because they prioritize women’s concerns over their own), who are easily swayed by the opinions of women in their lives—whether it be their mothers, girlfriends, or wives.

To be clear, I’m not arguing that men shouldn’t have sympathy for some of the beliefs women hold. But men and women have different priorities. For instance, I can’t recall feminists or women, in general, advocating for the law to be changed so that men wouldn’t be drafted in the military during times of war or wouldn’t have to enlist at 18. That’s not because they don’t care—it’s just not their priority. And that’s fine. Men have our own priorities, and women have theirs.

It strikes me as both feminine and humiliating when some men become so vocal about abortion. Often, these are the same men who are convinced that men can get pregnant, likely because the women in their lives persuaded them to think this way. For those men, it may be too late—they’ve already been indoctrinated to think like the women around them.

We all have struggles—men and women alike—but our priorities are not always the same. Men and women may be equal, but we are not identical. Our priority lists might share similar concerns, but the order of importance will often differ. Men’s top priorities shouldn’t revolve around tampons or abortion. And for women who, whether deliberately or not, attempt to make men in their lives less masculine—be careful what you wish for. You may end up regretting it.

By Luis de Andrade